Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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