theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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