i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
