dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
