Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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