I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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