You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
