My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize