Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate