Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside

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  (425): we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside http://tfl.nu/0lr5
  Replies (26) Good night (5354) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well

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  (412): At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well http://tfl.nu/es2k
  Replies (7) Good night (3930) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.

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  (703): You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason. http://tfl.nu/7b14
  Replies (12) Good night (3618) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  You guys make me sad

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You misspelled jealous there

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  (703): We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone. (540): You guys make me sad (703): You misspelled jealous there http://tfl.nu/wtst
  Replies (23) Good night (11671) Bad night (1340)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.

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  (856): there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread. http://tfl.nu/6f5w
  Replies (28) Good night (4181) Bad night (1361)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work

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  (217): she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work http://tfl.nu/qwhd
  Replies (3) Good night (2197) Bad night (1150)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.

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  (317): You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order. http://tfl.nu/45qd
  Replies (7) Good night (760) Bad night (1538)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are

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  (517): There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are http://tfl.nu/38ue
  Replies (18) Good night (1088) Bad night (2918)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.

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  (316): Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick. http://tfl.nu/0lwp
  Replies (15) Good night (1447) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.

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  (864): I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan. http://tfl.nu/kwpf
  Replies (2) Good night (767) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?

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  (508): I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself? http://tfl.nu/e252
  Replies (3) Good night (954) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5

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  (469): I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5 http://tfl.nu/xzh8
  Replies (10) Good night (792) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  This is why you're my favorite.

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  (773): if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass. (815): This is why you're my favorite. http://tfl.nu/6wk2
  Replies (3) Good night (1435) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?

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  (914): can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks? http://tfl.nu/0s9u
  Replies (0) Good night (276) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.

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  (305): As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive. http://tfl.nu/jsq2
  Replies (6) Good night (857) Bad night (250)

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