Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.

  (912): View more from Georgia

  What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?

  (760): View more from California

  I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.

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  (760): Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool. (912): What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar? (760): I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out. http://tfl.nu/o1sk
  Replies (26) Good night (4712) Bad night (822)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis

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  (901): Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis http://tfl.nu/d468
  Replies (46) Good night (4752) Bad night (830)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.

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  (203): So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off. http://tfl.nu/cdqo
  Replies (10) Good night (5098) Bad night (875)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night

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  (314): You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night http://tfl.nu/nbdz
  Replies (13) Good night (1635) Bad night (4409)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.

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  (601): I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha. http://tfl.nu/8fn5
  Replies (7) Good night (2239) Bad night (998)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.

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  (732): I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/e3sn
  Replies (18) Good night (7449) Bad night (1016)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz

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  (870): God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz http://tfl.nu/dral
  Replies (4) Good night (2295) Bad night (1157)
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  (631): View more from New York

  She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.

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  (631): She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink. http://tfl.nu/f50x
  Replies (20) Good night (1420) Bad night (587)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.

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  (573): He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady. http://tfl.nu/txg0
  Replies (6) Good night (2544) Bad night (580)
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  (951): View more from California

  DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness

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  (951): DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness http://tfl.nu/qa2j
  Replies (4) Good night (834) Bad night (527)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified

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  (812): She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified http://tfl.nu/xfst
  Replies (9) Good night (1385) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?

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  (765): google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY? http://tfl.nu/u2sp
  Replies (4) Good night (965) Bad night (564)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.

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  (405): Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow. http://tfl.nu/6tpd
  Replies (5) Good night (632) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.

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  (310): See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight. http://tfl.nu/dy9g
  Replies (2) Good night (529) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something

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  (703): If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something http://tfl.nu/ij26
  Replies (1) Good night (374) Bad night (332)

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