It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...