Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
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I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
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We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.