You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
