I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
