jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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