Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
