One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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