Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
being pregnant is like rehab
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
