She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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