i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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