help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
