Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
