people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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