How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You can't motorboat a personality
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize