Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize