I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
