One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I know her cup size but not her name....
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