i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
