So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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