Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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