Sponge bath it is.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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