YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
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She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
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Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.