Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.