Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
