I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
