super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
