he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
