I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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