I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
