my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
its liver damage thursday
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
