wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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