so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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