you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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