You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
