I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
