I just made out with a guy for $7.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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