so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
