Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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