just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
