someone threw a dead crab at me
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
