Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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