addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
