No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
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That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
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I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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