Sry I called you an 8
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
