The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
