At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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