I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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