I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
